Sharing your mental health story on social media

October 10th is World Mental Health Day and this year I’ve teamed up with The Lord Mayor’s Appeal in support of their “This Is Me” Campaign. The campaign aims to change attitudes towards mental health in the workplace by reducing the stigma, dispelling the myths and raising awareness to improve employee wellbeing. This is important, vital even; especially when you consider that only 16% of people feel able to share a mental health problem with their line manager, fearing reprisal, judgement and discrimination. There is quite clearly MUCH to be done here.  But what if you work in social media as opposed to a “normal” working environment?

Being a freelance photographer and blogger, I don’t technically have a “workplace” so to speak. But I spend a lot of my day on Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest.  Social media gets a pretty bad rep for negatively impacting on people’s mental health. We’ve heard it all plenty of times – the “InstaPerfect” highlight reel depicting lives that we compare our own to. The flawless, toned and unblemished body that we are supposed to have. The things we should achieve or the milestones we should hit……. So with all of this in mind, is social media ever the right arena to showcase your struggles? Is it even safe to share your mental health story on social media?

I have suffered from an eating disorder for many years. When my disease was at its most severe I was also diagnosed with depression and anxiety. For a long time, I mostly kept it all to myself. Like a cauldron of secrets, bubbling away under the surface. Eating disorders and depression are isolating illnesses but it doesn’t help that the symptoms of both can be that communication is difficult. I didn’t always see the secrecy as a bad thing. I remember sometimes even enjoying it, feeling slightly superior to all of the people in my life who HAD to eat, when I didn’t. There was power in my silence. But there was also a great loneliness.

When I did decide to open up the reactions varied massively and there were so many times when I simply wished I hadn’t bothered talking at all. So then why did I choose to publicise my struggles on social media? The honest answer is that I don’t really know. Looking back, I believe it was an attempt to feel less alone and also it was a catalyst for me to getting treatment; to committing to treatment. There was no going back once people knew.  Plus every single day I saw my friends, family and even strangers posting about their ailments in online, their colds and viruses, their sprains and breaks. I suddenly realised that so many people think nothing of speaking about their physical health to anyone and everyone, so why should mental health be any different?

So what happens when you share your mental health story on social media?

Well first, a warning for anyone who does choose to open up about their mental health in such a public way, there is a possibility that there will be some form of backlash from those who you call your nearest and dearest. My family were upset and hurt that I had chosen to use social media to air my problems because they felt that it was a private matter. Even now they still aren’t keen on my transparency, even whilst my journey is much more positive. A couple of my closest friends felt that they couldn’t cope with seeing the kind of content I posted online (happy photos of me) whilst they knew that I was suffering with depression. As a result they chose to unfollow me on several platforms. What I hope they all understand now is that I was never trying to hurt them, any of them. I was only ever looking for a way to manage my feelings but also a way to reach out for support and community.

And goodnesses me did I find it?! To this day I am still so overwhelmed by exactly how much support I have received online.  Not just in my recovery but also in my darkest days, my multiple rock bottoms. I didn’t even like myself during those periods, how was it that all of these people, most who had never even met me, were rallying round and picking me up? I guess the answer is because when you are so open and honest about your weaknesses and vulnerabilities you are showing others that you are a real person. A person with faults, someone who doesn’t have it all worked out. And SO MANY people can relate to this. They don’t even have to be going through the exact same struggle (although many of my followers online are eating disorder sufferers) to get it!

I have received hundreds and hundreds of messages from people who thank me for my honesty, who offer me well wishes, who cheer on my accomplishments and who call me an inspiration. I don’t necessarily see myself that way but if me speaking my truth helps to start a conversation or encourages one other person to reach out or get help, then I’ll take that. That will never be something I won’t feel proud of.

But what about online trolling and bullying?

Obviously once you put something out there on social media it’s pretty much permanent. Even if you decide to delete the post yourself later, there is a good chance that it has perhaps been saved or screenshot by a number of people. And that is, of course, when it’s out of your hands. I think this was another major concern for my family and friends. By discussing my feelings, my pain and my struggles so openly would I receive criticism? Would I be targeted? Would any of the things I had posted online affect me later in life i.e future employment etc?

Well, so far I haven’t been turned down for any work projects because of my mental health or because my story is floating around on the web. And to be quite honest, if a brand or company find that off-putting about me, do I really want to work with them anyway? No. I spent a long long time being ashamed of who I was and that got me literally nowhere. I refuse to make myself smaller or to downplay my feelings for anyone, ever again. I think that regardless of your industry, you need to surround yourself with good people who have morals, values and who care. There’s no point having the best job in the world if you are unhappy and the environment is making you ill.

And in terms of trolls; quite recently I’ve definitely discovered that someone has quite the vendetta against me. I’ve had two photos of my beautiful little boy Charlie (who has autism) reported on Instagram and Facebook for nudity and pornography. The photos were neither. He was just a little boy enjoying his holiday, wearing shorts. As a result of being reported I was shadowbanned by Instagram (you can read all about this here) and my account was made pretty much invisible for a total of four weeks. This was beyond upsetting and stressful for me. Not just because it affected my work and my earning potential to diminish my reach on my biggest social media platform. But because someone was using my son, in all his beautiful innocence as a way to get to me.  I definitely struggled with it but eventually I realised that this says so much more about the person doing this than it does about me.  But other than this one example, I’ve actually been very lucky to have received very little negativity on my social media as a whole. I’ve had the odd nasty comment of course and when this happens I try to remind myself not to take it personally. It’s very easy to sit behind a keyboard and say horrible things about others. My best advice is to trust that their negativity comes mostly from ignorance, delete their comments, block them and get on with your day.

If I could do it all again, would I?

Most definitely. For me the positives have definitely outweighed the negatives. I’ve learned that sharing my mental health story on social media doesn’t actually solve any of my problems. It is never going to be a realistic replacement for how hard I worked in therapy or the medication that I needed to keep functioning. But what it is and can be is a release. Because talking about any problem can make it feel so much better. Feeling like you are part of a community who get you, who don’t judge you, who can relate is comforting. By being honest and open we can invite in so much support, understanding and positivity that we didn’t even know was out there. We can also connect with others who may have had similar experiences. Not only that, but by speaking up we are showing that having a mental health problem is never something that you should feel ashamed of. On the whole, I really do believe that most people are inherently good and will want to help…… but they cannot help if they do not realise that there is a problem. So as hard and as scary as it may seem, please, trust in the power of talking to someone.

If you are struggling or feel unsafe and you do not have a trusted person to speak to then please contact The Samaritans, any day or at any time on 116 123