Relationship Status – It’s complicated

Instagram…. I’m talking about my relationship status with Instagram – It’s complicated.

Unless you’ve been living on another planet, you’ll probably know that Instagram is the photo and video sharing app used by 800 million of us worldwide.  Since it’s launch in 2010 Instagram has seen incredible growth and is now considered to be the third most popular social sharing app, behind Facebook and You Tube.  68% of it’s users are female, like me. I often wonder if perhaps some of them, if not all, have the same feelings about it as I do?

So how do I feel?

Like I said, it’s complicated.  As a photographer, Instagram is the perfect platform to showcase my work and creativity. It also allows me to share the realities of my life. The good days, the accomplishments, my journey with mental health and the realities of being an autism parent. In the grand scheme of things I am considered a fairly new instagrammer. I have only really been using my account “properly” for around 12 months.  But as soon as I began to put in more time and focus, I started to see results and like so many others before me, I became hooked. I’d fallen hard for this little app on my phone that all of a sudden was giving me recognition, new friendships and a plethora of exciting job opportunities. But like any intense love affair, we’ve certainly had our ups and downs. Let me delve a little deeper.

I’ve read all about how social media is bad for you.  How apps like Instagram encourage us to make comparisons to other people’s lives; lives that may not even be represented honestly or correctly. Lives that you really only see snippets of, the parts that people choose to highlight. And I know all about photoshop (I’m a photographer, I probably know more than most). I know all about staging shots to make things look perfect. But I often consider myself to be above making these kinds of comparisons to other grammers.  But of course, that’s not true at all.  There are days, days when I’m perhaps not feeling my best, that I’ll be scrolling and stumble across a photo of a 25 year old girl.  There she is in her bikini with her “perfect” body; ok her eyebrows might be scarily dark and huge (I will never be on board with this new eyebrow trend btw) and she’s overly fond of the bunny ear filter (WHY do adults use these?) But to me, she represents something that I feel I may never have.  Not just the seemingly great, youthful body, that’s only part of it. Because yes, I’d like to feel that confident in a bikini, of course I would; but it’s something more. Like the idea that my Instagram account will never be as popular as some others because I’m not that “perfect girl.” I’m too old now, I’m not pretty enough, I have a child, I have an ugly c-section scar and a scattering of cellulite. How can I ever even be in the same league as her? As all the others like her? And when you dissect this belief isn’t it so incredibly sad? What does my photography and writing even have to do with the way I look? Why does the thought that how I look in a bikini will dictate how popular my account can be, even pop in to my head? It should mean nothing. But in today’s society, where women are told that being beautiful is the most important thing they can be, it often does.

So I understand why there is a growing concern about young girls, or women of any age actually, comparing themselves to others on Instagram. But it isn’t just here; it isn’t just Instagram.  It’s the way women are and have been portrayed in the media in general.   think it’s just easier for people to make the comparisons on Instagram because we consider these girls to be “real people.” Flip back to the start of my last paragraph….. we really have no idea what’s real and what isn’t (SNAPCHAT FILTERS AREN’T REAL FOR ONE).  We are only seeing what they want us to see. All we do know is that comparisons generally don’t make us feel any better or any happier.  That time would actually be better spent focusing on how we can love ourselves more.  Me included.  I’m going to work on it too.

On to the aggressive need to gain followers, because followers mean validation.  So much so that some people even choose to buy their followers (yes this is a real thing, and yes it’s incredibly stupid). See when someone is trying to monetise their instagram, they make the mistake of believing that brands are looking for accounts with tonnes of followers. They are of course looking for popular accounts, but what really matters to them is engagement.  So it doesn’t take much working out to figure that if you buy fake followers your actual engagement will be lower than ever, because none of these accounts are actually interacting with you. Make sense? Some people opt for a more subtle approach (sarcasm may exist here). They follow you in the hope that you will follow them back. If of course you don’t then they will automatically unfollow you within 24 to 48 hours.  There are even companies now that are dedicated to doing this type of activity for you.  They log in to your account and they go hell for leather liking pictures, following and unfollowing.  And you PAY THEM for it!! Nice right? Kind of destroys the whole idea that we are on Instagram to share and appreciate art.  I for one choose to follow accounts that focus mainly on travel and photography, because that is what I am interested in.  I don’t necessarily assume that I will get a follow back from every account that I follow, because my work may not be of any interest to that person.  And that’s ok.  What you choose to create quite possibly isn’t for everybody, and in actual fact, it should just be for you.  And if you’re shooting and creating the work that you want to then surely you want real, authentic followers who appreciate your style and efforts.  So even though it can be tough, and it sometimes feels a lot like being back in the school playground. You have to get over the follow/unfollow regime and remind yourself that the numbers aren’t everything.  In fact, just in the time it has taken me to write this blog post I have been unfollowed by 12 accounts that I didn’t follow back. I shrug it off; they aren’t the people I want in my corner.

I’m not going to talk much about the algorithm because quite frankly I know everyone is sick of hearing the damn word. But to summarise, it is a little trickier for us smaller accounts to grow now. This is because Instagram has concocted some mystery formula; which makes my brain hurt more than Pythagoras Theorem. The algorithm means that you aren’t necessarily reaching all of your followers, in fact you’re reaching only a tiny amount of them.  This is the reason why sometimes you have to go and literally search for your friends and family’s content. Or pictures show up in your feed from three days ago! Sound familiar? It seems to annoy most people and for those of us with business accounts, it can be totally frustrating to know that you are working hard on creating content that your audience perhaps aren’t even seeing. There are people out there who will lead you to believe that they can hack the algorithm (stop saying algorithm Beth) or they’ve worked out how to get around it. I doubt this very much because it’s changing all the time and the best thing to do actually, is to try and forget it and as I mentioned before, just focus on what is important. Your photos, your style, your story. And lets all just pray and hope for the return of the chronological feed sometime soon.

My last gripe I swear….. because I can’t really talk about the down side of Instagram without mentioning the persistent DMs.  I don’t want to generalise and say that all sexual harassment on Instagram is from males. But in my own personal experience I have only been contacted by members of the opposite sex.  The messages I have received have ranged from slightly flirtatious to sexually explicit content.  I have also had men constantly badger me to meet up with them.  When I have blocked them, they simply make a new account and the whole things starts over again.  I personally do not find this type of attention to be complimentary.  It’s not flattering.  It is not what I am on Instagram for.  So I just want to say very quickly, that if someone is making you feel uncomfortable on any form of social media, THIS IS NOT OK.  Just because it happens on a screen doesn’t make it any less real or any less frightening.  Please don’t ignore it.  Always report, block and if need be speak to someone you trust or contact the police.  You can find more information about cyber bullying, along with a free U.K helpline just here.

So what the heck do I actually like about Instagram?

Ha!! That does seem like a lot of complaining doesn’t it? Despite the faults that I have so kindly pointed out, Instagram is still my absolute favourite app. It’s where I spend many hours of my “working” day. Not only does a large portion of my workload come directly from it now (Thank-you very much Insta) but it’s also the place where I have made some amazing friends. I have been able to connect with like-minded people, photographers, artists. I’ve learned from them, shared with them and I’ve genuinely enjoyed seeing the work that they create.

Also, Instagram is where I immediately go to when I need inspiration, for anything. Travel, restaurants, coffee shops, mental health issues, photography, books, art….. you name it. You can find anything. I use it more than I use google!!  And I love it because it feels so personal. You are actually getting to read what people have experienced, along with beautiful visuals. You can find out what they suggest or recommend and not in an annoyingly pessimistic Trip Advisor kind of way.

And in perfect contrast to some of the issues I mentioned earlier. There have been times when I have found Instagram to be the most supportive and uplifting environment. Particularly when I’ve been struggling with my recovery. The comments and advice and the way people rally around to pick you up, to stick up for you, is for want of a better word…. heartwarming. I’ve been truly touched by the amount of love I have received, whether it be from family, friends, acquaintances or the perfect strangers who perhaps only found me via a hashtag. These people that I have connected with on Instagram often make me realise that there is kindness in the world.  People who only wish to do good. And that’s reassuring isn’t it? That knocks bikini bod girl and algorithm/follower issues right outta the park. Because in a world where we can be anything… being kind is the most important thing.

So even though it annoys me occasionally, and I often feel like I’m spending way too much time planning my feed or researching hashtags and not getting anywhere for it. Instagram is my Boo and I’m pretty sure we’re in it together for the long haul.

Beth Anne 4 Instagram (I.D.S.T)

And you can follow me here – although I’ll call you out if you become one of those pesky unfollowers 😉

xoxo