Minding Your Mental Health at Christmas Time

Here we are again, the “most wonderful time of the year” right? But what if for you, it’s really not.  You don’t have to go all Ebenezer Scrooge “Bah Humbug”mode to admit that you find Christmas to be difficult. I don’t dislike Christmas after all but I do realise that it’s a time when I have to be extra mindful about how I’m feeling, why and what I intend to do about it. Last year I wrote specifically about how to cope with Christmas whilst recovering from an eating disorder. This year, slightly further in to my journey, I’m going to be focusing on minding your mental health at Christmas time in general and why this is never a selfish thing to do.

Self Care isn’t Selfish

We hear a lot about self care in this day and age, which is wonderful. But I worry that quite often we are all striving for the #selfcaregoals that we see on Instagram rather than focusing on the realistic, if not slightly mundane elements of giving ourselves what we need. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. Expensive beauty treatments, meditations on mountain tops, yoga retreats, Acai smoothie bowls for breakfast….. all amazing of course; and if you can do this then absolutely go for it. But for those suffering with their mental health, self care can be something as simple as taking a bath, eating a meal or getting some rest. At Christmas when anxieties can be running extra high, these basic self care practices can easily be forgotten or dropped down the ladder of importance.

Do people really forget to shower or eat though? Well, all I know is that when I’ve really been struggling with my depression or my eating disorder I’ve desperately avoided eating (no surprise there). But there have also been occasions where I’ve been so anxious about seeing myself naked or even touching my body that there has been some serious bathroom aversion going on. It’s a funny old thing because I actually always feel better in myself after a soak in the tub. But during the depths of depression I’m not always thinking logically and sometimes I just don’t believe that I deserve to feel better.

So in terms of minding your mental health at Christmas Time – prepare yourself as much as possible. Stock up on foods that are easy to grab, foods you enjoy, foods that you can manage. If meal plans and routine help you to stay on track then do these way ahead of time and talk to your loved ones about helping you stick to it. Have baby wipes and flannels in your bathroom in case turning on the shower feels impossible. And rest when you need to. I cannot stress the importance of that one enough. Give your mind and body whatever time it needs to re-cooperate. So yes, if you want to stay in bed watching cheesy Christmas films on Netflix all day, then do so.

You Can Say No

Christmas often means a huge increase in socialising for many people. Work parties, family dinners, outings and catch ups with friends. It can be one of the most special things about the holidays, spending time with people that we love. It can also be one of the most stressful. For many people suffering with their mental health, socialising can be exhausting. Personally, in the past I would try and avoid any “extra” functions that I felt involved too much food. Christmas already meant over-indulgence and I found the thought of additional “pointless” calories terrifying. I would usually agree to be there but then make up excuses last minute and feel so guilty about it. Now I realise that there really is no shame in saying “No”. You don’t even have to explain yourself but telling people that something doesn’t feel manageable for you is not shameful. It’s brave and honest. The people who care about you want to be with you of course, but they also don’t want to make you endure something that will have a detrimental affect on your wellbeing.

So when you get an invitation, take some time to think about it. If it’s something that you’d like to do and you feel that you could enjoy then go. Or agree to go for just a little while and have an exit strategy all worked out. If you don’t want to then please SAY NO. Christmas is all about caring. And that doesn’t exclude caring for yourself.

Let go of the idea of a “Perfect Christmas”

We set ourselves so many expectations when it comes to the festive season. I mean we are basically gearing up to it all year long right? Shop displays pop up straight after Halloween followed closely by the Christmas advertisements all depicting yuletide perfection. Our social media feeds fill up with endless photos of Christmas trips, Christmas markets, Christmas lovers, Christmas decor, Christmas gift wrapping……. it goes on and on.

I’ve talked previously about how damaging it can be to compare our lives to the ones we see online and when it comes to Christmas, it’s no different. The perfect Christmas doesn’t exist because nothing IS perfect. Advertisements and insta feeds show exactly what brands and people want us to see. They don’t show the family arguments over the monopoly board or the drunken relatives who cause a scene every single year. They don’t show the loneliness that people often feel at this time of year or the heartache of missing loved ones who can no longer celebrate with us. And let’s be honest, Christmas is stressful enough with all the present buying and event planning without trying to work out how the hell to make your reality 100% instagrammable. We put SO much pressure on ourselves when really we should be challenging these Christmas stereotypes instead.

So stop worrying about making everything perfect. Relinquish some control and try to remember what Christmas is really about. It’s friends, it’s family, it’s the people that we hold most dear, it’s love and it’s laughter; in all its messy honesty.

I hope that wherever you are, or whatever your situation, that you are able to make minding your mental health at Christmas time your priority this holiday season. I will be doing something a little different this year and am therefore trying to go in to it with very few expectations. But I’m sending you and yours love and light and wishing you all a happy, peaceful and safe Christmas.

If you need someone to talk to over the festive period the Samaritans are available on 116123 (UK) 24/7 free of charge. For support in a crisis, including suicidal thoughts, abuse, assault or self harm you can text SHOUT to 85258