The Ballad of the Bent-Neck Lady

I can’t really remember many, if any, fictional tv dramas that have stirred up quite as many emotions in me as The Haunting of Hill House. Have you heard of it? I’ll be surprised if you haven’t seeing as it’s Netflix’s newest horror series smash that seems to have everybody talking. Mike Flanagan’s very loose adaptation of the Shirley Jackson gothic horror novel is both enchanting and heartbreaking. And whilst there are certainly a few “jump out of your skin” scare moments, for me this series is more of an emotional journey than a fright fest.

I’m going to talk about one episode in particular. Episode 5, which I have nicknamed “The Ballad of the Bent-Neck Lady.”  This is your *spoiler alert.* If you haven’t reached that point yet – leave now and come back when you have!

Firstly, can I just say it’s probably one of the most devastatingly beautiful hours of television that I’ve ever watched. I went on a complete roller coaster ride of emotions with the Crain family and when it was over, I felt exhausted. But back to the point – This episode in particular feels like the pivotal moment in the series. Mainly because one of it’s fundamental questions is answered. Who is the ghostly figure that has plagued Nell since childhood?

Thanks to the way The Haunting of Hill House plays with time, we knew that Nell’s life ended in suicide. We just weren’t quite sure how or why. The fact that she’s enticed to the top of the spiral staircase by the warmth of the memories of her mother is almost unbearable. I sat, my hand to my mouth, barely breathing, as the locket around her neck, the one she had so longed for was actually revealed to be a noose. The image of her plunging to her death is of course disturbing, but not as much as what happens in her final moments thereafter. Nell plummets once again, but now it’s through time, over and over. And with each drop she is facing herself – in one of her sleep paralysis episodes, as she cowers on the motel floor, sat in the car with Luke, until she’s staring back at the familiar, terrified eyes of 6 year old Nell, sat upright in bed. She’s been haunting herself. It was her all along.

“Ghosts are guilt, ghosts are secrets, ghosts are regrets and failings. But most times, a ghost is a wish.”

As far as horror stories go, this is pretty clever. But on reflection I realised why I found this idea so disturbing. As someone who suffers with their mental health I felt I could somehow relate. Not that I’m dead of course, or that I see ghosts even, but the concept that the epitome of my suffering, the thing that torments me – is actually me? Mind fuck central! I thought about it a lot, in fact I really didn’t sleep well for a couple of nights after this episode. This notion that we can often be playing a significant part in our downfall is suffocating, it’s immobilising and it’s distressing. And I don’t know why I’d never thought of it before. But yes, a haunting doesn’t always have to be carried out by a ghost. It can be a memory. Something we wish we’d done or hadn’t done. The words people have said to us. The things they didn’t say. A letter they wrote. The love they gave, the love they took away……. Are we all haunting ourselves in one way or another? And therefore if we figure out a way to let go of these occurrences, are we freed? Isn’t that what we are all trying to do as best we can anyway? Let go of our baggage?

It almost seems like this does in fact happen for the others in the story. When they begin to face their demons, speak their truths etc…. We see the image of them two years later, healing and happy. It was of course too late for Nell. But perhaps it was always too late. She did tell Steve in the red room that “It wouldn’t have changed anything.”  So maybe it was always her destiny to die, in the hope of saving her siblings. I suppose when you consider that they’d all been living in a house that was actually trying to digest them – this is a happy enough ending. Until Season 2?

I’d love to hear what you think…. about the Bent-Neck Lady or the series in general. I think I may have to re-watch it so that I can fully absorb everything. Once my nerves have settled of course.

Love as always,

Beth xoxo