The Top 5 Things I’ve learned from Intuitive Eating

Wow, I guess it’s been a hot minute since I first wrote about losing my “Intuitive Eating” virginity. I apologise for the delay in the update – I said a month and it’s actually been six – Bad Bloggy Beth! But in reality, I’ve been away so much that eating and writing about eating has kind of started to play second fiddle to ……well, just having a life I guess. Even as I type those words I feel a little bit giddy about it. I read it back and I still can’t quite accept it as my truth; but it is. I know, I wasn’t certain I would ever get to this point either; but here we are.

Intuitive eating has been a serious game changer for me. Or maybe it’s the travelling, or perhaps just the beautiful fusion of both. All I know is that I was determined to end my European trips knowing that I hadn’t missed out. That I hadn’t skipped trying something because I was scared or worried about calories, fat or weight gain. I can’t hand on heart say that I haven’t had anxiety about some of the food that I’ve eaten, of course I have. But I absolutely haven’t denied myself ANYTHING. Belgian waffles? Yes please. Gelato? Ermmmm hell yeah! Goulash with noodles AND bread? Why the hell not – nobody ever died from a single sitting of double carbs – well not that I know of anyway. And that’s all well and good but what it can’t all just be about food right? Like whatactually happened when I started intuitive eating? Well I’m glad you asked. Because below I have complied my list of the Top 5 things I’ve learned from intuitive eating.

1. Cravings don’t last forever

   I freely admit that one of the things that terrified me most about giving intuitive eating a go was the idea that I would just start wanting all of the foods that I used to deny myself. And once I started – would I ever be able to stop? With all rules off the table would my table suddenly just be chockablock full of Pizza? For the first couple of weeks, maybe there was a lot of cheese and tomatoey goodness dancing through my digestive system. There was also biscuits for breakfast, pancakes, Sunday dinners and stew and dumplings. I had become the Hungry Caterpillar of the off limit yummies. But slowly, these cravings began to subside. My body all of a sudden asking for other things, even new things. When you think about why this actually happens it makes perfect sense. My body didn’t trust me to begin with. Why would it? I’ve spent years and years messing it around. Yo-yoing with giving it what it wanted only then to restrict, time and time again. So once my body started to realise that maybe something was different this time and I wasn’t suddenly going to remove the pasta altogether, the cravings began to dwindle away. Our bodies are super smart. This is not to say that I don’t find myself craving foods now at all, and I still occasionally dunk my biscuits in my tea of a morning. But I am no longer the ravenous, carb-hound that I was certain I would be forever more.

2. Your tastes change 

   It was such an alien concept to me that some of the foods I had once found delicious would all of a sudden be scoring a great big MEH on my taste scale. There were certain foods that I used to consider “treats” or “cheats” during the throes of my eating disorder. Depending on the time or the place, these were usually fast food items or coffee shop snacks/beverages. They were often a reward for getting through something (therapy sessions) or not messing anything up (no bingeing/purging). But here’s the thing. Intuitive eating meant I could have these things whenever the hell I wanted. Also I can now have anything else too so these “treats” and “cheats” just seemed to lose their appeal. I found that when I did try them again I just wasn’t all that in to it. They had lost their power over me because now I’m teaching my body to actually know what it really wants, rather than something I just happened to select as a reward. I have to tell you, this is freeing beyond belief because at the end of the day, food is just food. I don’t want to give it any power.

3. Travelling is a hell of a lot more fun  

   Travelling is a big part of what I do and who I am. Planning and going on trips with the eating disorder voice in full force was always such a nightmare.  I would forever be arguing with myself over the importance of having a good time and the importance of not gaining weight. I can’t imagine that I was always a lot of fun to my travel companions either. If you’re reading I apologise. Having to look at menus ahead of going out, searching for the healthiest restaurants, not having the wine because I’m having dessert, always wanting to exercise to compensate – urrrrgghhh. On my travels around Europe I have really been trying to just not think about food so much. I’ve tried to be spontaneous and to be open to just about anything. It hasn’t always been easy of course, I’m still new to this and still in recovery; but my goodness it feels so much better than the rigid and inflexible way in which I was travelling before. I also believe that by thinking less about food, numbers, weight, exercise, I’m actually much more able to experience all of the amazing perks that come with travelling. I find myself getting excited about so many different elements. Because my brain is no longer malnourished and I’m also not spending every waking moment thinking about what I can and can’t have to eat.

4. You will have good and bad days

   Nothing can go 100% perfectly all of the time. It’s unrealistic to think it can in any scenario so intuitive eating and recovery is no different. There are days when I potentially overeat, either because of extreme hunger or those cravings I mentioned before. Or perhaps I’m meeting a client for coffee and a friend for dinner. At one point in time this would trigger major anxiety and I would be trying to work out how I could compensate somehow for the calorie overload. Now I just remind myself that my body knows what it’s doing and that one day of having more food than normal is not going to have any major impact on anything. Then there are the days when I under-eat; by mistake or on purpose. It’s actually quiet easy to under-eat accidentally. Sometimes it’s just because the day is so busy or that I’ve cycled a really long way (yes I’m cycling now) and I just haven’t made up the extra calories. Again, it’s not the end of the world. My body will work it out and balance will eventually be restored. The purposely restrictive days are the little buggers that I have to watch out for, which leads me to the very last lesson learned.

5. This is going to take time  

   I’ve been engaging in eating disordered behaviours or on some form of diet, on and off, for the past 17 years. I’ve been in active recovery for around two years and attempting intuitive eating for 6 months. This is GONNA TAKE TIME. I wish I could just erase all of the thoughts, tips, tricks and concerns in my brain and start over but it is never going to be that simple. In many ways I am learning how to eat again. From the beginning, And that is tough. Sometimes it feels like I’m doing amazingly well, like I’ve finally cracked it. And then I will crash, out of nowhere and feel genuinely exhausted. This is ok. This is normal. It may not feel like it on the bad days, but it is. There is no magic fix here. It’s going to take work and maybe a lot of it. But what’s the alternative? I never want to go on a diet again, I don’t even want to hear the word or be around it. I don’t want to fear foods, to deny myself them or eat so much of them that I have to resort to self induced ejection of whatever kind. I’m not that girl anymore. I’m the girl who is learning, who is trying and who is living. And I like her waaaaaaaay better.

If you’re reading this whilst trying to figure out if intuitive eating might be for you, all I can say is give it a go, but be sure to also give it time. Who knows what the next six months of intuitive eating holds for me. I hope it’s better body image and body acceptance, I assume it’s lots of delicious foods and I believe it’s the way to living a happier life.

As always, Thank-you for being here

Beth Anne xoxo