Are we all faking it?

I decided to write this post last week after watching what I can only describe as a witch hunt unfold on Twitter and Instagram. Perhaps you saw it too?  Perhaps you have no idea what I’m talking about? Let me set the scene.  A 24 year old London Blogger, Scarlett, posted a photograph of a morning in her life on her Instagram account.  In the picture she is poised on the bed, hair brushed, make-up on, drinking from a tea cup (seemingly empty) with a plate of pancakes and strawberries by her side. Nothing too odd about that right?  In the background are two huge bunches of helium balloons, a bottle of Listerine casually placed on the bedside table and what seems to be a photograph of this particular blogger on her own bedspread. The only reason I saw this post was due to a tweet. The tweet was composed by a male who I do not believe knows this young girl.  He called her out for faking her morning, her existence and for making people feel bad about their lives.  The tweet went viral and the next few days saw Scarlett come under attack via Twitter, Instagram, You Tube etc.  The story even made it on to a plethora of online news sites, both in the UK and internationally.  I spent some time looking at the photo in question, the responses and Scarlett’s entire feed in general.  And I REALLY thought about it. Initially I wasn’t sure how I felt. I agreed that the picture was funny.  But as someone who does a lot of work on Instagram, I am not surprised to see advertisements or scenes being staged. And then I began to question my own work and I asked myself – “Are we all just faking it?”

I’m a photographer.  I take photos daily.  And not just for business but for pleasure also. Creating photographs is my art form, often it’s my therapy and above all it makes me happy. I post to Instagram consistently, pretty much daily, because that’s the platform I most enjoy and where I feel most supported. The content I choose to create and share on Instagram is usually centred around four things; Travel, Mental Health, Food and Lifestyle. And whilst of course, I want the photos to be beautiful, I don’t believe that I necessarily need to stage or fake anything. My life isn’t what I would call “typical” anyway. I have an adorable little boy, Charlie, who has autism.  Charlie is home schooled and therefore is with me pretty much all day every day. For the past three years I have suffered with severe mental health problems, I lost a friend to suicide and I have battled with body dysmorphia and an eating disorder. What I’m trying to say here is that I don’t feel that I need to sugar coat my life for anyone.  In fact, if anything, I would rather show people that good things are possible, even when the chips are down or your life isn’t “stereotypically” perfect. If my posts can inspire one other person who is going through a tough time then that’s amazing. But not everyone sees it that way.  In fact, at the height of my illness, some of my oldest and best friends chose to walk away from my social media. They told me they couldn’t understand how I could be suffering and yet still post photos that were pretty or featured me in them. I was confused and hurt by this. But now I understand that not everyone views social media in the same way.  Which is obviously exactly what happened with the Scarlett Insta Saga.

Regardless of my mental health situation I was always a photographer, I was always a creative and I always wanted to create. I have also chosen to be very honest and public about my son’s journey with autism and the effect it has had on my life, my health and my family. I came clean about the eating disorder too, which is a difficult thing because eating disorders by their very nature are secretive. But I didn’t want to hide.  I didn’t want to fake it. I still don’t feel like I am. I am proud of where I have managed to get to, despite everything I have faced so I won’t apologise for being in photos. I won’t apologise for showing what “my particular world” looks like. Everything isn’t black and white all the time and we have to understand that we interpret things differently. But surely the way to deal with this is to say “I don’t understand this but I’d like to know more” or “I’d like to support you anyway.” Because judgement should never really be the answer – to anything.

Take the photo above. I guess it has similarities to the photo at the centre of all this “scandal.”  It’s a photo of me waking up in a London hotel, a trip I took with my step daughter in the summer. But I haven’t staged anything.  I really did stay in a beautiful hotel. I haven’t done my hair, I’m not wearing make-up. I am drinking the delicious coffee. The only thing I changed about the scene was removing my glasses before the shot. But it’s still a nice photo right? Now I obviously don’t wake up like this this every day, and if you follow my instagram you will know that I DO post a lot of “Latergrams,” especially of my travels. But I’m not pretending I’m somewhere I’m not at any time.  I just have a shit load of photos and I don’t wanna spam post lol. I don’t feel like I need to explain any of this to anyone or defend my art in any way. All I’m trying to say is that it really is up to the person creating the content as to what they want to display and how authentic they want to be. For example, if the photo above had been me advertising Listerine, I would have done it completely differently to Scarlett. I probably would have been in a bathroom, with my hair in a towel etc but that is just my personal preference. It doesn’t make me better than her. The fact that Listerine also signed off on her ad (which they will have done) surely makes them just as responsible for the content as her.

Do I feel like the ad makes impressionable young people feel bad about their lives or not measuring up? No, I don’t.  I looked at the scene and laughed to myself. I don’t expect to wake up surrounded by balloons (nor do I want to – single use plastic overload).  My step daughter and I actually laughed quite a lot about why so many Instagrammers now walk around with balloons or flowers.  It isn’t real life but it is THEIR choice. My 17 year old step daughter isn’t having a break down because of it, in fact she mainly just sat there taking the piss. I understand that not every person will be as grounded as her, but I saw a lot of parents attacking Scarlett in comments on Twitter and Instagram. I can’t help but think this is slightly disturbing. Don’t feign concern for your child and then attack a young girl for a paid advertisement. How does this make you any better of a person? Perhaps spend your time talking to your kids about social media and adverts rather than slinging abuse online. Also, if you aren’t going to get mad at every advertisement you see on TV or in Magazines. If you aren’t going to write to the directors/photographers/stylists/make-up artists of those campaigns then aren’t you being a tad hypocritical.  Just my view.

So back to Instagram and how I personally use it. It’s a well known joke (fact) that if you hang around with me you’re probably going to be asked to take a photo at some point. I’m also going to potentially photograph your food or your coffee, but you know what…… I’m going to let you drink/eat it. We’re going to enjoy what we are there to do. So whilst it’s obvious that I’m very “each to their own” about content creation I will never do something just for the sake of it. Because Instagram is great, I love it, but I primarily want to create memories. Instagram could shut down at any time and if all I have done is create fake moments for it, what am I left with? For example, last year I went to Paris with my best friend. We both knew we wanted a photo with the Eiffel tower, so we went and took them. But we also wanted to explore Paris, as much of it as we could. So we wore practical footwear, we wore clothes that we would normally wear, we didn’t buy anything extra for the shots. And guess what? They are some of my favourite photos. Trust me, Paris is so fucking beautiful it doesn’t need anything added. But we did see lots of people there twirling in huge, glittery dresses. And we probably giggled. But just because I don’t care for that particular style doesn’t make it wrong and it doesn’t make me think that their life is better than mine. So in the beautifully warbled words of Elsa – I let it go!

But how does editing contribute you might ask….? I, myself have a specific editing style. In fact I designed my own presets so that my work would look how I wanted it to, and consistently so. The above photos are a before and after from my recent trip to Lake Garda. You can tell there is a difference of course, but the changes are minimal. I don’t add and I don’t take away. So I would say, again, that how people choose to edit their work is completely down to preference. I don’t agree with photoshopping subjects – but I can’t stop people doing this. I see magazines do it EVERY SINGLE DAY. And yes, it’s bullshit and it’s wrong and I’m absolutely convinced that the portrayal of women in the media helped to fuel my own dislike for my body for so long. But if it won’t stop happening (and I don’t believe it will any time soon) what we really need to do is work on how we respond to it. I’m not saying I don’t compare myself to other people I see either on Instagram or anywhere else for that matter. Of course I do, I’m not cured. But what I now try to focus on is what my body does for me and the body neutrality movement. It’s not a magic wand but it’s definitely helping so I will stick with it and keep encouraging others to do the same.

Have I said enough? Are we all just faking it? I hope I have articulated what I want to say well enough. We obviously can’t deny the huge part that social media plays in our world nowadays but what we have to remember is that WE ALL have a choice. Whether that be a choice to show what your world really looks like.  A choice to stage an advertisement as you see fit. A choice as to whether we actually want to follow a person that perhaps doesn’t make us feel great about ourselves or our situations. And  choice about what words or actions we may take in response to someone else’s work. I would love to hear what you think about any of this, please feel free to comment below.

Much Love

Beth Anne xoxo